this morning is sucky

had a pretty awful start to my morning. feel really bad. feel like i am not able to cope. the feelings of wanting to be dead are overwhelming. debating whether or not to tell a nurse how i am feeling. there was a change over and different nurses are on duty this morning than the ones who have been on duty since i came on the ward.

maybe i should just tell them. i dont want my stuff taken away though. i’ll go crazy with nothing to do. i went down for breakfast and ate a good breakfast of cerial and toast. i said i’d try cerial this morning. and i’m glad i did. my blood sugars are kind of all over the place at the moment.

but back to how i’m feeling. depressed, sad, worried, overwhelmed. all of those feelings dont make a great combination. i dont have a plan but i seriously dont want to be here. maybe as the day goes on I’ll feel differently. my mom is coming to visit tonight, after all. that is a positive thing and I am looking forward to seeing her.

some days just feel so hard. its how to get through them. how to survive. I have too though. I dont really have a choice.


Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

4 thoughts on “this morning is sucky”

  1. I’m sorry you’re having such a yucky, sucky, Let’s-start-this-day-over sort of morning. When you have these kinds of feelings can you guard the littles from having them too? Hugs. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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