i’ve had a very anxiety filled day. i’ve felt anxious and on edge all day. i cant seem to shake it. i am not sure what its all about, except that its there and its very debilitating. i talked to my mom and she has come around, she said she will visit me tomorrow evening and bring me some of my clothes and other things i forgot to bring. so then i had to ring kristen back and tell her that its ok i didnt need her to come. she was glad my mom was coming though. i know my mom is very stressed right now. i feel so stressed out as well, and I am not even the one waiting to hear if i have cancer or not. but the not knowing is really effecting me. i texted eileen earlier to tell her i was in the hospital. she texted me back and said she was sorry to hear that. i didnt send another message to her. i wanted to but i couldnt think what to say so i didnt bother to send one. i might send one tomorrow asking if we can have a phone check in on monday during our regular session time. i wont see dr. barry again now until tuesday. i wish i saw her on monday. i have a lot on my mind and could use her to talk to. i havent eaten very much today. i ate yogurt, and brown bread and cheese, and for lunch i ate a bowl of soup. and that was pretty much it. the food is crappy and they have me on the diabetic diet which is even worse than the regular food. Its just been a kinda bad day. I need to sleep but I cant. I am just so freaked out, scared, and very overwhelmed. I dont know if I should ask for a haldol or not. i think i need one. this anxiety is really bad. my nurse just came to me to talk to me. his name is john. i asked him about the haldol. he said if i could manage without it until i take my night meds then do that, but if i need it in half an hour he’ll come back in and give it to me then.