so last night we had a phone check in with eileen. we were meant to have it on tuesday but I forgot to text her about it. I couldnt believe that I forgot. But we spent half an hour talking last night. It was really good and a much needed catch up. I was able to fill her in on my mom and how worried I was for her. Eileen was so understanding and said that yes this was a really hard time for us all. I told her that I was trying my best to stay ok, and be strong for my mom. My mom needs me and I cant afford to fall apart. Eileen said she was sorry she hadnt been more there for me, but it just fell at a bad time with it being christmas and her being on break. I said I understood. She asked me how the rest of the system were doing and I told her about taylor, about her having had a really hard night on Monday, struggling with hallucinations and psychotic symptoms. I told her how I had a really hard time watching her struggle, and that I felt unable to do much for her. I did try to comfort her but I dont think i was very successful. Right now I am focusing on my mom, and on staying calm for her sake. Staying positive, keeping my own feelings to myself and only talking to either dr. barry or Eileen, or my friends, or the nurses from the weekend team, or my mentor colette. I will see Colette this afternoon at 2 PM. Eileen reassured me that I was doing my best. She was so kind, saying she’d be thinking of my mom. She wished me a good weekend and said we’d talk on Monday. I am looking forward to that.