so we saw dr barry this morning. it was a good appointment. i spent a long time talking about my mom and my worries and fears surrounding her illness. it was good just to be able to talk to dr. barry about it and know that she understood and got it and didnt judge me for having so many fears about things. i told her how scared i was of losing my mom and that i was thinking the worst and i cant help it. i told her i had talked to mom last weekend about it and she hadnt really said much other than to tell me that we needed to keep going on as normal and do what we’ve always done. thats hard for me. my anxiety and ptsd make it hard for me not to worry. everyone keeps telling me not to worry but i still do. i told dr. barry i wasnt sleeping. she asked me if i would like a sleeping tablet for a week just so i could get some decent sleep. i said ok i’d try it. she said normally she’s not a fan of giving people who have chronic sleeping issues sleeping tablets but she said my sleep issues are acute and she felt it would be the right thing for me to have one. so she put me on 7.5 mg of zopiclone. hoping that will help me sleep tonight. she said if one tablet doesnt work in 2 hours that I could take another one. I’m hoping I dont have to take two of them though, hopefully one will do the trick. she said the best thing to do about mom is wait and see what the scan shows so we know what we’re dealing with. she told me that if it turns out mom has cancer then she would get the ball rolling and talk to Karen about fighting harder for extra PA hours, and putting some extra supports in place for me. she put another referral in for the weekend team again this coming weekend. but instead of phoning me they are going to do a home visit. I said I’d prefer a home visit, because its easier to talk to someone face to face instead of on the phone. I hope someone I know is on duty this weekend. That was the bulk of my appointment. At the end I told her I wanted to tell her something. Then I told her how much I appreciated her seeing me twice a week over the past couple of months and how much I felt it was helping me. She said that wasnt a problem and she was glad it helps and she thanked me for saying that I appreciated what she was doing.