so i’ve had a good day. my mood has been stable. my anxiety has not been too high. i went to the basement club for the morning. it was really quiet down there. not many members were there, i think its because its the first week back after christmas, and everyones busy with other things. i talked to colette who is my mentor for a few minutes. i just needed to destress about my mom, she listened, and gave me some tips on how not to worry, and I will see her again on Thursday. on thursday we are going to talk about what life will be like for me if anything happens to my mom, what the future will be like for me. i am nervous to talk about it, because it will seem very real then. but i know i need to face it head on. i need to prepare just in case my mom does have something serious wrong with her. speaking of my mom, she never got a call today about the scan. she ended up phoning the hospital and guess what? the other hospital where she had the x ray last week never faxed it through to the private hospital so that is why there was a delay and they hadnt called her. they told her to call the other hospital and have them fax the x ray results in to them and once the consultant looks at it they’ll call her. so it might take another few days. which is kinda annoying. she is going private, she should have been able to get the scan very quickly. she thinks its because it was christmas and staff were not working and appointments werent being made for people. i suppose she could be right. anyway she’ll probably have the scan within the next few days. until then we’ll just have to grin and bear it, wait and try not to get too anxious or overwhelmed. when i came home from the basement club my home help came and we cooked a spaghetti bolognes. it was lovely. i put onion, carrot, peppres, and chopped tomatos in to it. and of course spices as well. i got 3 portions out of it and I am going to have it again tomorrow. thats all i’ve eaten all day, besides breakfast of cerial this morning. i think when i’m done writing this i’ll go make a sandwich. this afternoon i slept for a while. i was feeling tired due to having only 3 hours of sleep last night. my nap was good. i felt refreshed after it. i went to my friends for a couple of hours. that was nice and a welcome distraction. my friend kept asking me if i was ok, she said i seemed quiet. i suppose i was quiet because i was tired and thinking a lot. since i got home i’ve been watching tv and burning dvd’s. the weather here is cold tonight, with temps going below 0 c. i’m glad i’m wrapped up and cosy warm.