its carol anne. I should be asleep but i’m wide awake. I just cant settle. I think its because of all the emotional upheaval of tonight. I layed down with nitro and tried to drop off. but my head wouldn’t quiet. my thoughts whirled. I kept hearing weird sounds and I kept thinking someone was outside and I got scared so I got back up. now nitros gone to his own bed, sensible pup lol. meanwhile i’m just catching up on blog posts from friends blogs. and drinking tea. i’ll be busy tomorrow. my pa comes in the morning, that is if the weather isn’t too bad. she has a kind of long drive to my house from where she lives, and if the roads are icey she might not be able to make it. i’ll just hope for the best. if she does come I need to clean my house. and go pick up my injection from the pharmacy. I was supposed to get my injection last week but I forgot to place the order for the prescription so I had to wait until this week. i’m also going to the basement club tomorrow after my pa leaves. I have mentoring with Colette. I cant remember what we said we’d do in mentoring I think we were going to make a plan of some sort. I know Colette had asked me to think about ways I wanted to improve my life in 2017. to be honest I didn’t think too much about that. sometimes its hard for me to think about the future. if I think too far ahead I get suicidal. i’ll be going to my parents and staying there tomorrow night because I have the abdominal ultrasound on Wednesday and mom is going with me to that appointment. mom sees her gp on Wednesday and the nurse too about her COPD. i’ll be going with her to her appointments as well. first though i’ll see dr. barry on Wednesday morning. I have to make it to that appointment no matter what happens. the womens group at the basement club are meeting for a meal on Wednesday evening but I doubt I will be able to go. for one thing nitro wont be coming with me to the hospital when I go to get my ultrasound. i’d have stayed at my mom and dads place on Wednesday night as well but my pa comes Thursday morning so I cant do that. so i’m going to have to miss out on the womens group meal this time around.