I wrote Eileen a short email. It just said this.
i am feeling better now, i did what you said, went back to bed and stayed there most of today. i’m feeling really sad that i had to miss our session. i really needed to go to therapy. i feel angry that i had to get sick because i really needed the time with you.i neede the connection so much right now.
i’m very depressed and feeling very emotional. i’m trying to regulate but it isnt easy.
i need a hug. i just need to hear you say it is going to be ok and give me a hug and reassure all of us.
I feel better having written to her. Now she knows I didn’t want to miss therapy. And I’m not avoiding, I was sick. Part of me thinks she may think I am avoiding going. But I sware I’m not.