dr. barry appointment, working on attachment issues

we had a good apt with dr. barry yesterday. mostly we just talked about our relationship, and some about our attachment issues. dr. barry said we need to keep working on those. she said we need to challenge the frequency of our appointments, because she does not want to create a dependence for us on her. she said that would cause more harm for us and she doesnt want that. well neither do i. she asked me if i felt our relationship dynamic was helpful to me. i do think it is, because i have learned a lot about how to be in a relationship from working with dr. barry. before i worked with her i would not have ever invested so much in a relationship with a doctor. i was telling her that all of the other psychiatrists i’ve had in the past, i could take them or leave them, i wasnt ever invested in those relationships like i am now in this one with dr. barry. rationally, i know i need to work with her on decreasing our appointments, right now they are twice a week, but that is just because we’ve been in a bit of a crisis recently, normally, they are once a week. dr. barry said we are going to look at spacing them out eventually to every 10 days, and eventually to every two weeks. she said we need to work on the attachment so that we are secure in the attachment, and we know that if we dont see her for 10 days or two weeks, that it will be ok, that we will see her again, and that she will be there at our designated appointment time. it all sounds good in theory. emotionally though i am not sure i am ready. dr. barry knows that and said we need to do it gradually over time.
The rest of the appointment we spent talking about symptoms. i was telling her how we’d been really dissociative and anxious since monday when we last saw her. we had spent time with a friend and she had interacted with a bunch of us because we had been switching like crazy. dr. barry asked did i know why things went from bad to worse, i dont. she asked if there had been any cult contact, i said i didnt know but there might have been. i am not sure but it seems likely because usually when there is cult contact, things get worse inside for us. she read me some of my notes from last year, and last year at this time, there had been some cult contact. it makes sense because this is the time of year where things start to get rough. there are a lot of ritual dates at this time of year that make things really hard for us on the whole as a system.
next week dr. barry is off and she asked me if we wanted to see the doctor whose covering for her, he’s a brazilian doctor. i didnt want to see him. there is no point as he is a man and i find it hard to talk to men. so it would really be a waste of time going. so we have set the next appointment for 10 days time. well this will give me a chance to see how spacing an apt out to a 10 day period of time will work for us. i hope it works out well.

Advertisements

Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

6 thoughts on “dr. barry appointment, working on attachment issues”

  1. I hope the 10 day break is ok. Bea and I had a 10 day break this summer. I’m not going to lie, it was hard because I’m used to twice a week. I relied more of friends than I ever do during those 10 days. Sending safe hugs if you want them. Xx💟

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s