so we saw doctor barry this morning. we had a really good and productive appointment. i opened up to her and told her how much i am struggling trying to stay out of the hospital. she said i should give myself a lot of credit, and she knows it isnt easy and she sees how hard i am fighting. i was glad she got it and understood how much of a struggle it is every day. we talked about my mom and dad how they dont seem to get it about how bad we’re doing. how they think just me being at their house is enough and that when i am there that i should automatically be doing better emotionally. dr. barry said its just that they dont understand mental illness and that i should try to think of it in that way. and to a degree i know they dont get it, and they arent trying to deliberately minimize how i’m doing. it still doesnt make it hurt any less. we talked about meds and i told her i’d forgotten to take my meds twice this past week. obviously thats not good and she said she’d follow up with karen and see if there was any news about us getting extra pa hours. she had written a fabulous letter to the director of disability services about our diagnosis and why she thinks we should get additional hours. right now her computer is broken though so i couldnt get a copy but she said once its fixed she’ll gladly give me a copy of the letter. she told me she’d been talking to Mark last week. and then she asked me if i’d be willing to have another assessment, like a kind of reassessment about my diagnosis, not to diagnose me, but just so that we could get guidance going forward as its been six years since our diagnosis. and dr. barry is kinda winging it alone because she isnt treating anyone else with did. and she said she’d like to get some guidance from the specialists going forward. i agreed so now the next part is to try to get funding to pay for the assessment. these doctors will have to come from the UK so there will be air travel, hotel accomodation, etc to pay for as well. I’m not sure where we’ll actually do the assessment but it will take about 7 or 8 hours to complete. dr. barry is going to phone eileen and talk to her and get a summary of where she thinks things are at in terms of our therapy and the work we are doing together. all this is going to take time and wont just happen overnight. i was glad she suggested it though. i think its a very good idea. she also increased my prozac to 60 mg from 40 mg. she said she’d give it four weeks at the max dose and if there was no improvement in the amount of flashbacks and ptsd symptoms we’re having that she’d stop it altogether and try something else. she also kept us on the naltrexone for now but she didnt increase it. she agreed to try it for another while to see how things are for us while we’re on it. she said we could have just chosen a bad time to start it. so that was the bulk of our appointment. there is a lot of things to think about. i am going back to see her again on wednesday.