bad night last night

things are bad here right now. we’ve been having awful hallucinations. it feels like bugs are crawling on us. also been hearing voices, not the insiders voices, these are male voices, telling us to harm ourselves. i feel like shit. i am at my parents house, i went there last night. i know i said i wouldnt go, but mom persuaded me to go. to be honest i’m glad i did go. they dont get it but just being with other people is helping. the weekend team will be calling me in a little while. they might offer to put me in the hospital but i am going to ask if i can wait and see dr. barry tomorrow. she knows me and knows my history and symptoms better than anyone. she will know if i need to go to the hospital. but thats looking likely i think. the hallucinations are so vivid, the flashbacks are awful. i am feeling so overwehlmed and very triggered. i think hospital would be the best place for us right now. it would keep us safe. right now we just feel so suicidal and like hurting ourselves.


Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

9 thoughts on “bad night last night”

  1. So sorry that you are having a horrid time. Please do not hurt yourself – so many people care about you. I am glad you are not alone. My therapist tells me to do nurturing things when I want to hurt myself. Herbal teas – special ones that I save for these times – and putting scented lotion on my arms and hands do help. You deserve nice things to happen to you NOT bad things.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hang in there, you are so much stronger than you think. We see that strength and beauty from the outside but it’s so hard when you’re in it! Good for you for knowing what you need. We are thinking about you.

    Liked by 1 person

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