Hard day yesterday but talked to eileen and saw dr barry and felt better

Yesterday was so hard. We spent most of the day so overwhelmed and upset. In the morning we became very triggered and it went downhill from there. Eileen texted us because jasmine had left a message for her the day before, so she texted and when I got the text I replied saying I felt like i was falling apart and couldnt cope. She texted back asking if I was able to talk, and luckily I was on lunch so was able to take a call. So she rang me and we talked for about 20 minutes. I told her I wasnt sure what was causing the overwhelm, but it was probably a combo of things, stress of college, time of the year, certain insiders having a hard time, etc. She told me to try to hang in and that we’d work on all of it when we saw each other which will be today. I felt much calmer and more able to go on with my day after talking to her. In the afternoon yesterday I had my mock excel exam. I somehow managed to get through that but I was very stressed out. Even my reader who was reading the instructions said to me that I looked like I was not really there, then at 3 Pm I said to my instructor I had to leave because I was about to have a full on panic attack. So I left to go see Dr Barry. My appointment with Dr Barry was a good one. We ended up talking about the time of year, and the disclosures of abuse that this time of year reminds us of. I ended up crying and telling Dr Barry how I still feel so hurt by my moms lack of emotional response to me. That I feel like I cant talk to her about my feelings and things. Dr barry was very sympathetic and told me that she understood. Then I told her about doing things on purpose that would illicit a motherly response from herself or Eileen. She said I was very honest and that its ok that I do that, that I just want to be cared for and feel cared about. The majority of our appointment was spent talking about that stuff, we also talked about college, sleep, and stress responses to trauma etc. I felt much better after our appointment. I went home, ate dinner, and crashed for the evening. I was super tired and managed to sleep well last night. This morning I feel much better and more ready to face the day which is good as I have a presentation to give this morning in college.
[tags Doctor, Psychiatrist, Mental illness, Trauma, Coping, Symptoms, Sleep, Did, Dissociative identity disorder, PTSD, Therapist, Therapy, Psychotherapy[

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

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