Weekend, thoughts and urges

I got home Sunday evening from Dublin. I was sad the weekend was over but it was good to be home too. Nitro jumped all over me when he saw me. It is safe to say, I think he was glad to see me. I felt good having had the break away. I felt refreshed and recharged. Late Sunday evening Jasmine, who is an insider who is preoccupied with death and suicide was close to the front and started feeling apathetic and depressed and was thinking again about death and dying. She didnt plan anything but the thoughts were there and they started filtering through to me and making me feel bad. I told her to try to think about the nice things we’d done over the weekend, that she’d been part of. She did try but it wasnt working for her and she could not shake the preoccupation and the thoughts of ending it. Eventually she emailed our therapist and told her how she felt. I didnt sleep very much last night due to all this going on. Then in the middle of the night I started to feel kinda sick. My stomach started acting up. At first I thought it was a reaction to Jasmines feelings but soon it was clear that it wasnt. I’m not sure what caused it whether it was something we ate or the amount of alcohol we drank but we felt sick for hours. I didnt go in to college yesterday. I mostly slept all day. I feel much better now and will go in to college this morning. I need to finish up my team work portfolio. I have a little bit to do on it and it is due on Thursday and I dont want it hanging over my head so will do it today.

Author: Carol anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

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