Dr Barry wants me to feel safe

We saw Dr Barry yesterday. I was nervous all day before our appointment. I had to build myself up to it. I kept thinking something would go wrong or I wouldnt be able to talk to her like I usually can. But I neednt have worried. She was in a really good mood when she came to get me from the waiting room. When we went in to the office and sat down she simply asked me how I was doing and I was able to start and open up quite easily.
I told her about last week. About how after we did up the report and worked on it that parts got really triggered and some were even suicidal. She asked me to explain to her how that manifested so I did. She listened and then she said she was not going to send the report. That she felt it would be in our best interests not to send it right now. That we were too fragile and she didnt want to unsettle us further. That maybe in a few months things would be different. But for now she would not submit it.
I told her I didnt want her to get in to any trouble. That I knew the police were requesting this and if she didnt comply would she get into trouble because I certainly didnt want that. She said not to worry, that if they sent a letter to her she would deal with it, but that I shouldnt worry about her and whether not submitting the report would cause her to get into trouble, that if they wrote to her she’d just tell them we werent emotionally ready and that is why she was waiting.
I told her how liz, one of our parts had said that the police really didnt care anyway, because it had been a year since they wrote to her and in that year they hadnt wrote back to see what the status of the report was or whether it was close to being done. Liz thinks they just dont care about us so that is why they didnt bother. Dr Barry said its probably that the information is sitting on someones desk and wont be looked at unless the report goes in to them. Either way we’re very unsure. We’ve had bad experiences with the police in the past and now we just dont trust them.
But the main thing? Dr Barry wants us to feel safe. She doesnt want us unsettled and feeling overwhelmed or like its all too much for us. She is ensuring our safety and I am so grateful to her for that.
The rest of the appointment we spent talking about college, therapy, sleep, my upcoming weekend away, family, etc. We jumped around a lot from one thing to another. I think I was in with her for over an hour. Mark our OT has left a note in our file about last weeks meeting which Dr Barry read out to me. It was so nice to hear him talk about us exceling in our exams, and doing so well. It made me have a warm feeling inside.

Author: Carol anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

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