When I first got my did diagnosis-how i felt

I have been diagnosed with did for years now. Still it really never gets any easier. Sure I can deal with it. Sure I know more than I knew when I was originally diagnosed. But still it can be so hard on some days to live with this condition.
Let me explain. I was unofficially diagnosed in 2001. My then psychiatrist said I might have what was then known as MPD. I freaked out. Yes I knew we were all inside, I knew I heard voices, I knew we had names, but I did not know did was a real condition that existed out there. I did not know anyone like me. But after the diagnosis, I found plenty of people online who experienced what I did. Who were just like me.
it was a relief! I was no longer alone. I no longer questioned my sanity. I had a name for what was wrong. I was multiple.
Years later in December 2010 I was officially diagnosed. It was put on paper finally. I had tests to diagnose did. I went through an assessment and some interviews and spoke about my did system and my memories and after hearing all of this the experts diagnosed me as a classic case of did.
Now I am in therapy weekly. I see my psychiatrist weekly. I take meds. I am coping. But still? Still the did is difficult to deal with because so many people dont know. I cant tell them. They would run or freak out or worse still not accept it or me. It is a lonely existence. I am lucky I have a select few I trust and they know everything and are ok with things just how they are. They accept me for me did and all.
If you know someone with did be kind. Be supportive. Be accepting. It might take time but if you stick with it and keep being supportive and non judgemental eventually the did person will grow to trust you and will be able to more fully open up and tell you what is going on. Most importantly be patient. Did is not easy to live with we are used to hiding it from everyone and even sometimes from our own selves.

Author: Carol anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

4 thoughts on “When I first got my did diagnosis-how i felt”

  1. When I first started this blog I read several blogs. I didn’t understand what they were talking about. Eventually I learned and I don’t know for sure how many I read are did, but I know at least 3 that are. You are no different than me. I have a mental illness that a lot of people don’t understand or think I am a serial killer. We are all pretty much a community on here and that is people with and without mental health problems. It is all in how you interact. It is probably harder on those with no mental problems, but I get plenty of support from both. I can’t imagine living with did, but you are getting the help you need. ❤

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